Top Ten Signs That The Red Sox Are Dead

10) No team has ever recovered from being six games out in the division and 5.5 games out of the wild card with 53 games to play

9) When all of your games take over four hours to play, the players can't get enough sleep to make up ground

8) Even if they catch up to the Rays or Yanks for the wild-card, the ChiSox and Twins are going to spend September poaching on the DOA Royals and Tribe

7) Clay Buchholz's 2.59 ERA and 1.23 WHIP are going to correct any minute now

6) Now that the Yankees have won in this century, totally know that it's just going to be like the last one

5) Surprisingly, when you employ the 34-year-old JD Drew and the 37-year-old Mike Cameron, they get hurt and deteriorate

4) Unlike every other team in MLB, when the Red Sox get injuries, it's totally not fair and the evidence of some God-driven curse

3) Now that Bill Simmons has called them dull and has washed his hands of them, they can't possibly make a deep playoff run

2) John Lackey's 4.48 ERA and 1.53 WHIP is what he's doing with a happy contract situation

1) With Kevin Youkilis done for the year, there's no one else on the $140 million payroll that could possibly put up a winning OPS