Friday, August 20, 2010

Top 11 Takeaways from the Clemens Indictment

Six counts of perjury before Congress isn't exactly an easy rap to skate away from. Here's what you need to know about the latest in L'Affaire Clemens.

11) Thousands of crusty old sports writers will have to do a search and replace before filing their boilerplate Hell In A Handbasket column

10) The Rocket officially gets to be dirtier, on some level, than Jose Canseco

9) If you think Red Sox Fan didn't do a fairly elaborate fist pump and/or high five over the news, you really don't know the man well enough

8) We can offically declare Greg Maddux the winner in the Best Pitcher Of His Generation battle

7) If only Mike Piazza had fought back, we might have avoided all of this

6) You can safely sell off those minor league baseball cards of his kids now

5) A steadily decreasing number of people seem to care that Clemens is sticking to the usual Liar's Stonewell tactic of denying everything

4) Just because that there's no chance in hell that he'll actually do the 30 years in prison doesn't mean that it isn't fun to think about

3) Brian McNamee has got nearly as much chance of getting inducted in Cooperstown as Clemens right about now

2) The Rocket is said to be saddened that his 25 years in public life hasn't given him the benefit of the doubt, notwithstanding the fact that much of that time has been spent behaving like a loon

1) Today, the world of Barry Bonds got just a little bit brighter

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